I've been working at the More2Life! store in the mall for the past month. There is a kid named Brian who often hangs out outside of the mall, by our entrance. So we see him a lot, walking in and out of the mall; hanging with friends, etc. Pain almost seems to emanate off of him. He walks in apparent brokenness; cuts on his arms, baby on the way, always angry, always fighting. And since I've seen him, God has broken my heart for him, and kids like him. Brian never really comes in our store, except for one time two weeks ago he sat in a session about your value as a person. The activity was to fill out a sheet of "I am...." He finished his quickly and wouldn't let anyone see it. After the session was over, I asked him if I could read it and he said yes. His listed consisted of things like "I am depressed. I am an alcoholic. I am not ready for my future." We didn't see him for a while after that.
Tonight, my last night at the store, he walked by. I yelled out a hello, and when he looked at me, he had blood streaming down his face; and kept walking out the door. I saw him a few minutes later, standing by a pillar outside the mall, and asked him if I could help him with some first aid. He said he was okay, and the bleeding had stopped. We talked about who he fought and why, and then I went inside. When the store closed and I was leaving, he was standing outside the mall again. It ended up being that I was able to pray for him. He was so sweet, just cried and thanked me. I hugged him and left.
As humbled by this, and as grateful as I felt toward God, I wasn't prepared for what came next. Upon coming home, I receieved a word of correction that I didn't want to hear. And, walking away from it feeling my pride and soul pierced, I felt God say to my heart "You're just as much in need of a Savior as Brian. You are the same." Whoa. Not something I really think of a lot. Too often I can get caught in thinking I'm doing "alright" and subconsciously I can lose my awareness of my need for Jesus. For a God bigger than my pain and addictions and bad habits. Because I'm a big crier, I cried and prayed. I realized, yet again, that I'm just the same as Brian, or anyone out there. We all struggle with the same things, we all just have different outlets for those struggles. I'm probably worse off than him because I'm usually not aware of those struggles. I don't wrestle with them or fight against them. He does every day just to survive. I need a Savior. And He is always saving me. Now. And now. Five minutes ago, and five years from now, even if I can't fathom the future.
God, I ask for a deep humility to pierce the uttermost places of my heart. Make me aware of my own sin and pain, and make me aware of Your grace in those areas. I am in need of You to redeem and restore everything in me, because I keep breaking up what you have planted and fragmenting myself once again. I'm so tired of my hands in the way. Come, Savior, and save me again. Thank You for all that You do, for all the ways You reveal Your love. Touch Brian. Touch me. Touch all of us. May we stay in a place of recognizing and removing everything that doesn't look like You. May we always be aware of how much we need You.
About Me
- Sarah
- 20 years young, majoring in International Studies & Women's Studies at the University of South Florida. I'm in love with a mountaintop village called Panimaquin, Guatemala. I believe in an organic, accessible God, and I'm learning as I go.
5 comments:
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
2 Cor 5:17-19
Love you
"May we stay in a place of recognizing and removing everything that doesn't look like You. May we always be aware of how much we need You."
Yes. All so well put. I need this too, so much.
Thank you.
This really speaks to my heart and shows me that your heart is fertile soil to recieve God's love and promises. I speak over you that you are a diamond in the headress of the bride, you excentuate her beauty and the longing Christ has for her. I pray that you continue to recieve the revelation of your identity that's found in Christ and have deeper encounters with Him. You are a princess who's highley valued by The King. Begin to imagine how our Father sees you, adorned in beautiful robes of righteousness, adopted into His royal family and given access to His riches, full of love and purity and sitting at the table of The Lord. And as you begin to see these things in the spirit start to declare them over yourself. Love you my dear sarah, you are full of God's goodness.
wow! thank you sarah, for this. So honest, and open. And so so true. One minute we think we are doing well, and the next we fall ourselves. Yes, I experienced that this week, too.
bless you.
Good job Px90. I have been a heavy weight lifter my entire life. It has abused my body Beats by Dre. I was looking for a change since I have gotten older(47) and wanted to do more cardio. My neighbor had bought this, tried it for a couple weeks and then quit. He gave it to me Beats by Dre Headphones. I have done two rounds and really enjoy it and no longer do heavy lifting. I actually feel better with more energy. I only lost 10 lbs but, I did drop 3 inches in my waist and did cut up some Px90 Workout.
I do not do the ab ripper because it bothers my back. I also have learned to tweak some of the exercises to compensate for sports injuries from my younger days. The theories are nothing new. What I like about it is it prevents me from over training. I get up every morning and hit the basement about 6:30 and get��r done.
Finally, Tony can be a little hard to listen to at times. He likes to pose. I have done it enough now where I have it playing on a picture in picture while news is on P90x Reviews.
Keep up the good work. Make it a lifestyle change and you will enjoy it P90x Workout.
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