So, things are weird. Now that I find myself so far out at sea, I'm starting to panic. The shore seems so far, even though I know it's only a heartbeat away. My flesh is so stubborn, refusing to take that step to lead myself back to commUNITY. My heart, my soul, my spirit, cry out for the touch of the Lord. And I wrestle, constantly drowning myself in fleshy pleasures, disappointing myself and everyone I know. I KNOW I'm made for more than this. I KNOW there's more than this constant struggle. And yet, still, I find it so hard to tear myself away. Walls barricade me in, shutting myself off from any love. I disgust myself, breaking promises and hearts. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll try harder. I'll do better. Today is the day. There is no better time than now. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, IT'S ABOUT HIM. I am selfish, I am deceitful.
I need to have a heart transplant...and that's going to take discipline and a lot of alone time with the One who loves me best...
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
-Psalm 27:4
[thanks Alicia!]
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3 comments:
Yes! Seek Him!
Seriously nothing else matters. Not anything weve done, not people, not looks....bla! nothing but Him.
I pray that God will bring you to a place where there is nowhere to go but towards Him and turning around just isnt an option. And that He will help you undestand even just a little bit of his love for you. Gosh, thats all that matters he loved you and he died for you, the burden of our sin has been lifted off our shoulders. Jesus bring sarah and all of us close to your heart. we need you Father. amen
I love you sarah.
p.s. psalm 4:4
(God, give us self control)
yeah...there's much more. but it costs you something.
Sarah you are His beautiful daughter. He has put a passion in you that will only be satified as you give yourself to Him fully. You are blessed! Nothing less than the best, "Jesus" for you! I pray that you will continue to press into HIM!!!!!!!!!
Love ya
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